What to do when you're feeling bad about your body

Has all of the 'body positivity' advocacy got you feeling less than positive about yourself for feeling less than positive about your body?

Here's the thing: 'body positivity' doesn't really mean being super positive about all of your body always. The term 'body positivity' may be an example of veering to the opposite extreme to land somewhere in the middle. There has long been so much accepted body negativity, which is what we're trying to move away from. But the goal is not so much "Rah-rah-sis-boom-bah my body is the prettiest hurrah!" as much as body neutrality. Body acceptance. Body kindness.

I do not believe that beauty is objective. I believe that our society has conditioned us to think that thinner is more beautiful, just as in previous times in history there have been other standards of beauty that have been seen as 'ideal.' That being said, we are living in this society, and if we have consciously or unconsciously been influenced to agree that thinner is more beautiful, that's only because we're human. (And because the $72 billion weight-loss industry has kinda cornered the beauty-market very successfully.)

So now, you like the sound of intuitive eating and you say you get that dieting is bad for you and you certainly don't want to pass this thin-obsessed food-obsessed mindset to your kids... but you still want to lose weight... you say, with a shame-faced monkey emoji (or the equivalent.)

But you can skip the shame. Wanting to fit into society's standards for looking "pretty, successful, put-together" are nothing to be ashamed about. That just means that you're human.

Wait a second. Is this me telling you to pursue weight loss?

Nope. It's not. That's not going to happen any time soon.

What I am saying is that when you have those moments, days, weeks where you feel bad about how your body looks today, you don't need to make that worse by feeling bad about yourself for feeling that way.

Here are some things that help me when I'm having a bad-body-image day:

1. Remind yourself that body image has much more to do with your mind than with your body. People in bodies that you think are ideal struggle with bad body-image days, too.

2. Think of a few things that your body does for you that you are grateful for/ a few things that you appreciate about your body (that have nothing to do with the way it looks)

3. Think of at least 1 physical characteristic of your body that you do like (your eyes! your nose! your nail-beds! your hair color!)

4. Remind yourself that your body is your ally. It does not deserve to be punished, and neither do you.

5. Commit to eating regularly today; do not skip meals or snacks. Even when you don't like how it looks, your body is still taking care of you and enabling to do whatever you want to do today--and it needs energy to do its job.

6. Wear clothing that makes you feel less uncomfortable! Even if that means changing your outfit! Those extra few minutes spent changing or being deliberate about your outfit choice will help you to focus less on your body the rest of the day.

7. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself, your body is the least interesting thing about you. No matter how you feel about the way your body looks, you are kind, growing, and strong.

And you've got more important things to take care of and think about than your body, so get to it!

I'd love to hear if any of these resonate with you, and if you have any other helpful tips to combat a bad-body-image day!

Shira