The traditional approach to providing nutritious food to our kids looks something like this: “I will only be able to control what my child eats for so long, so I want to make sure he doesn’t eat any candy while I still can.” This approach is well meaning, but so short sighted. Some candy now will do our children much less harm than will an unhealthy relationship with candy (or any food) in the future. This approach often results in parents who restrict sweets while simultaneously using them as rewards or bribes, and children who learn to associate sweets with “uber desirable” and eat them in excess when they get the chance, even as adults. People marvel when they see my kids eating broccoli or raw green beans, but they don’t realize that the bigger “win” for me is when I give them candy in a neutral setting, without using it as leverage to get them to eat something “healthier” and without getting upset when due to social situations (apartment complex life, I’m looking at you) they eat more snack food than I’d like sometimes. Children (or is it just mine? No, it’s not) are PERCEPTIVE. Getting upset that they eat candy or saying, “You can only have 2 pieces” when you never say that about a fruit or vegetable teaches them that when it comes to candy they cannot trust their bodies to tell them how much to eat, and also makes candy more desirable to them in that it is the “forbidden fruit.” Remember, as the parent, you’re in charge of how often (when) you serve candy (the what, in DOR). By offering it in a neutral setting and often enough that your kids recognize it’s not forbidden, you remove much of the magic from it. It is challenging for us as parents with entrenched diet-culture food rules to truly present all foods to them as GOOD IN DIFFERENT ways. But it’s possible. And so, so worthwhile. How about we work on shifting our mindset regarding providing nutritious food to our children to be, “How can I use my children’s formative years to provide him with balanced nutrition while cultivating within him a healthy relationship with all foods… so that when he is old enough to make his own food choices, he chooses well.” I know this idea seems very counter to much of what we’ve been conditioned to believe about kids and candy. I’d love to hear your thoughts below!
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